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Endorsements for Big Picture Partnering “Today's class had so much meaningful information packed into it. I truly feel the benefit of being in a learning experience that is being guided by someone who is being so thoughtful--you!”
Since the first workshop session we have been doing the 20-minute, 4X each week Regular Talking times, and the 5 to 1 positive expressions. And that felt good. We put off doing the reading and exercises in the first couple of weeks. When we read the 2nd and 3rd chapters, we were both amazed. We’re working on the 4th chapter today and tomorrow. We have gotten so much from reading the book and doing the exercises. It has made a big difference in our relationship. The first three chapters involve work we have done before in our lives, but have forgotten. They brought so much realization of patterns that crept into our lives and created problems. These patterns have built up over the last 6 years and caused a lot of pain. Last year we almost got divorced. We started therapy about a year ago, which helped us start taking care of ourselves as “adults.” Our relationship improved quite a bit during the last year, but we reached a point in therapy that we leveled off and weren’t learning anything new. The book explains these issues so well and goes to such depth. We spent a lot of time going through these chapters. Now that we’ve gotten into it and see how valuable it is, we are excited for more and will put more time into it!
We are working
on the information provided. It is clear and incredibly valuable. We
are enjoying the workshop and have become optimistic again about our
future. Donna
Hello Dr. Jan –All is great with our family. There is not a day that goes by that I am not thankful for your role in helping me understand how to create a healthy relationship with (my wife.) I am more in love with her today than ever. I am blessed to have the most kick ass wife and best friend on the planet. I tell her that a lot, I remember the list you asked me to recite to her. I add to it everyday and let her know about all of things I love about her as often as I can. Now that she is the worlds best Mom it has doubled my list of stuff to tell her!
Hello Jan, Just thought I would send a little note to say hello. It’s been about six months since the workshop ended and we are doing great. I have gone back to school. Started this week. We are keeping up with our talking and it is making a world of difference……. Things stay very busy and there never seems to be enough time but I think we are making progress with things. Take care, Patty
“We have benefited greatly. Thanks! I would love to get my parents involved in this workshop as well”.
From one couple’s holiday letter to family and friends: “Earlier in the year we participated in a workshop for couples called “Big Picture Partnering.” When Pam introduced the topic, both of us felt immediately that this was something we needed to do. And what a treat it turned out to be! The impact on our life has been immense. We have moved so much closer again and despite our hectic schedules make time for each other; when we spend time together our exchanges are so much more meaningful and relevant because we learned to open up, listen to one another and allow one another to express true feelings and dreams. And then add a dose of creativity and you end up with something truly exciting!” “Your class is great. You are a wonderfully clear and exacting instructor (great for adult learners and nervous couples.)” Thank you for this morning’s session. I really got a lot of good information out of the workshop. You are sooooo good! I really appreciate your intelligence and grace. Thanks again,
Mary Thank you so much for such a good workshop. I was aware before of the adult child parent within idea, however, I really learned a lot more about how this impacts my relationship with my husband. You certainly helped to make things much clearer and you did it with intelligence and grace. My husband and I had a lot of good stimulating fun at the workshop. We have had many interesting and productive conversations as a result.
Dear Jan: I want to give you some feedback but am not sure where to start, so I'll just do some stream of consciousness about our experience in the workshop years ago. Participating in the workshop was a commitment to a process which we made early in our relationship that I think has proven to provide a certain stability. One overall important factor in the helpfulness of our time together was the group processing. Since John and I were new to each other (relatively speaking) we were in a very different place than the others. I have remembered things that were worked on and the challenges the other couples were willing to take on and have gotten courage from that. I suppose the major inspirational theme I reflect on is that of staying open to the opportunity to create together. There are the big moves (John and I just bought our first home together last year) and the everyday challenges to keep the relationship "fresh" so the assumptions of time and experience don't interfere in REALLY knowing one another in the present. Of course, easier said than done. But remembering the other couples work to come to an understanding together of where they envisioned their lives going is still inspirational. I'm very grateful to your having offered this group. -ES Coaching and CounselingGood morning, Jan, Just wanted to say thanks for a wonderful coaching session. Todd kept saying how much he likes you and how well you present the information -- non-threatening, enlightened, heart-felt and clear! See you again next Friday at the workshop!
-D
Jan - just wanted to thank you again
for your professional help. “It was wonderful working with you over the past year. Scott and I want to thank you for coaching us and preparing us for our life together.”
Making our relationship work amidst our unique lifestyle is one of our greatest and most creative accomplishments as a couple. We are grateful for the guidance we’ve gotten from Dr. Jan throughout our process.
To whom this concerns: ……I’m delighted to write this recommendation because I’ve worked closely with her for over a year (in many capacities.) ……..I’ve also had a chance to see her in action as a thinker, presenter, organizer, and promoter. First, and perhaps most pertinently, Jan is a first-rate speaker and presenter. She is clear, focused, direct, always engaging, and often fascinating. She strikes the right balance between being entertaining and being challenging (she expects serious engagement and work from participants, and gets it). And what she has to offer is not just valuable, but clearly differentiated from other presenters’ offerings. Her focus in her Big Picture Partnering workshops is not on helping people in shaky relationships to get healthier, but to help couples in basically healthy partnerships to go much further—to dream creatively and productively together, to manage the daily details without losing sight of those dreams, to come together in conflict instead of taking sides, and to break the rules in positive ways. And what she does works. Jan is also a tireless promoter of great partnerships, and of her own work, workshops, and products. Here in the Twin Cities, she’s on TV and radio regularly, sometimes two or three times a week (viewers and listeners know her as Dr. Jan). A piece about her is coming up in the magazine Minnesota Monthly. Her book, Big Picture Partnering, which was published just this month, earned a very positive review from the magazine Library Journal, and she will be promoting it through a nine-city author tour. And she is about to publish a card deck for couples and has a second book in the works. Yet she is no huckster or mere showman. Indeed, Jan is one of the very few people I’ve met who has enormous energy and focus, yet is compassionate and thoughtful rather than self-absorbed. In short, Jan will lead a workshop that will help people genuinely (and significantly) change their lives for the better, and she’ll promote the living daylights out of it. By all means invite her to present next year. If you’d like me to spell out Jan’s virtues in more detail, please get in touch. Sincerely, -SE Big Picture Partnering: 16 Weeks to a Rock-Solid RelationshipWhat Endorsers have to say:
What readers have to say: Hello: Your book is great! I found it very easy to read and user friendly. I know it is written for couples, but I think everyone can benefit from reading it. I learned a few more things about myself, about communication and relationships. I agree with your Big Picture style, in fact last year after having spent a week with my friends, I left there thinking they have a great relationship, and recognized it as the Big Picture style. I hope your book sales are skyrocketing! Take Care, -K
I just wanted to tell you that I'd seen your book and it is absolutely fantastic! I was really impressed with both the design and the content. Really, really nice! I will definitely recommend it to family and friends. -TN
The “Book of the Month” for April is Big Picture Partnering: 16 Weeks to a Rock-Solid Relationship, by Dr. Jan Hoistad. This book is from a local author (she is from Minneapolis). This is a phenomenal book that will guide you to have the relationship of your dreams. It is practical workbook to help you create a wonderful loving relationship with your spouse/ significant other. It will help you get and stay connected to each other by following the 16-week program. This book is available on Amazon.com and at your favorite bookstore. The second book was recommended by Dr. Jan Hoistad in her book. The title is The Two Step The Dance Toward Intimacy by Eileen McCann and illustrated by Douglas Shannon. This book also is about relationships. It relates people as either “Seeker’s or Sought’s” and how they relate - “the dance”. “The Two Step is a wise and witty guide to affairs of the heart that delights the eye as it instructs the mind.” It is a very quick read and is available at Barnes and Noble (I had to order it). I learned a lot about myself by reading these books and I highly recommend you purchase them and apply what you learn. -Dr. Kori Mortenson Living Your Dreams Together: Conversation Cards For CouplesDr. Jan Hoistad, who is the author of Big Picture Partnering: 16 weeks to a rock-solid relationship, has recently published a unique and useful set of conversation cards to assist couples in exploring their dreams together. Dr. Hoistad’s instructions encourage each partner to draw at random one card from the set and listen quietly to the partner’s response, asking questions only after the partner has shared his/her views. This non-threatening and delightful process not only affords the couple an opportunity to practice their listening and communication skills, but it also has the real potential for enhancing their intimacy awareness of each other. Dr. Hoistad’s topics include questions about home, family, work, money, travel, spirituality, fun, friends, and caring—all of which are interesting and deserve further clarification, updates if you will, for partners regardless of their length of relationship time. In addition, Dr. Hoistad will send a new question every month if you sign-up for it via her web page www.twofoldpublications.com/QOM/. Finally, if you have further questions, then feel free to contact her via janhoistad@drjanhoistad.com.
-Review in the MAMFT Newsletter,
March 2005
“Jeanne and I have been using your conversation cards at the lake over a cocktail on the porch for the last couple of months and they are really good questions. At first I thought: "Oh, I know how she'll answer that" and then something new comes out. We've really had fun and some good discussion with those cards!”
“I think they are
great fun, well crafted and the art work is beautiful! Also, being an
improviser I love anything that has to do with telling a story or
exploring, so 'good stuff.'" I looked at the conversation cards with myhusband the other day. They were great for bringing up topicswe think a lot about, but don't always share with one another about. They are really nifty!
- Laurie We've been married for 31 years and still learned new things about one another!
- Linda
"Your
Cards - Your current cards get people talking and our friends like
them because the questions bring up stuff to talk about. You think
that you know someone really well but we always learn something
new. For us it's about getting the chance to be heard with no
distractions. Maybe they should be called the "hearing cards"! "
"Thank you again for sharing your cards and
book with us. Both have inspired us to think
about issues we had not really considered before moving on toward
marriage. They helped us feel much better prepared." "Doing the cards together led us to a number of
"aha" moments. After doing the card ranking how we like to spend our time
(yourself, you and your partner, etc.), I realized for the first time
that my partner was often telling me what he assumed I wanted to hear,
instead of sharing his true opinions/feelings. After recognizing he was
doing this, I could recognize it in later situations, leading to
more honest conversations about real issues we
were having." "It sounds ridiculous after dating seriously for 4 years, but doing the cards, each of us taking a turn without knowing what the other would say, provided a venue to truly talk about our individual thoughts and opinions, rather than just responding to situations as they happened in our lives." -Sarah and Nathaniel "The conversation cards have been a hit as wedding gifts for my twenty something friends. I felt like I was giving them something that could contribute to a stronger relationship, rather than just a kitchen utensil or bath towels." Recommending Dr. JanJanuary 24, 2004 To Whom it may concern: I am writing a recommendation on behalf of Dr. Jan Hoistad, author of Big Picture Partnering: 16 Weeks to a Rock-Solid Relationship. My boyfriend and I took Dr. Jan’s Big Picture Partnering workshop last fall in Minneapolis. We and several other couples met once a month over a five-month period and the experience, I can say without reservation, was exceptional. Dr. Jan fosters an atmosphere of conversation, learning, and exploration in her workshop—an atmosphere that is crucial to promoting real progress. From day one, I felt not only that I was in a safe environment, but that I was in truly capable hands. Dr. Jan is hands-down, an expert at what she does. She balances traditional teaching with group conversation and individual exercises to great success. I can’t tell you how many “aha!” moments I had in the Big Picture Partnering workshop. And because her book, Big Picture Partnering, and the workshop work hand in hand, we felt like we were getting guidance even when we weren’t in the workshop setting. Dr. Jan’s 25 years of experience with couples really shows. A workshop can be an intimidating experience, especially when you’re meeting with strangers and talking about what is most dear to you. That trepidation was melted away on the very first day of Dr. Jan’s workshop. Sincerely,
-M May 22, 2004 To whom it may concern, I have experienced and benefited from Dr. Jan Hoistad’s work with couples and creative partnering in several wonderful ways. Together with my husband, we’ve taken her workshop, worked through her exercises and suggestions, and read her book. Dr. Jan offers couples guidance that is respectful, honest, direct, and hopeful. She has assembled precisely the information that couples need to make their partnership truly work, and delivers it stripped of mystique, worded with clarity, and honed to an elegant essence. She is an engaging, entertaining speaker and uses a wealth of illustrative anecdotes drawn from her years of experience working with couples; this gives her workshop participants great faith in her teaching and keeps them fully engaged in the topic. Her approach is both wise and realistic, without any pie-in-the-sky illusions; she has been in the trenches and knows the hard work and tremendous rewards involved in actively building a stronger partnership. Personally, there is much daily evidence that our marriage reaped great benefits, and as a bonus, my husband and I each feel we benefited from the workshop as individuals, as well. We are more thoughtful and intentional about our partnering, and more adult in both our behaviors toward each other and in our separate work lives. I have wholeheartedly recommended Dr. Jan’s workshop to many friends and will continue to do so. A Dr. Jan workshop should be required pre-nuptial training! As an author, I have both enjoyed and endorsed her books. Dr. Jan is eloquent on the topics of creativity and partnering, and presents her ideas in language that makes obvious her years of experience as a therapist for individuals and couples. In a field where many write rather glibly, and where many books disappoint the earnest reader, Dr. Jan’s writing delivers both solid content and the feeling of getting wise advice from a trusted and very wise friend. What Dr. Jan does is life-changing stuff. She improves marriages and strengthens unions. Hollyhock participants would benefit greatly from Dr. Jan’s workshop—and, they would enjoy themselves and each other. I recommend her and her workshop very highly. Sincerely,
-P "Jan's insight and method regarding partnering clearly has a place in the corporate environment. As I work with clients to help them increase their company's ability to innovate and increase team productivity, I am consistently reminded of how helpful Jan's work could be to help both the individuals and teams that I am interacting with. Better partnering equals thrilled customers and bigger profits."
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